My mother, in her younger days, showed up as the eye of the perfect storm, this is what I witnessed growing up. Now, she is older a Safe Harbour to my ship bruised and battered through the storms of life. She is now our beacon, our light house, she is our calm seas and our safety nets, she is my anchor. She is the rock that gently allows our waves of challenges and emotions cascade to her safe harbour at every turn. She is our prayer warrior.
There is no love like a mother’s love. And in South Africa, this love is not only fierce — it is revolutionary. At present, I am attending a RisE UP training with a powerful cohort of advocacy leaders in South Africa. I am speechless and humbled by the presence of the resilient women around me, and the few brave men who have chosen to work in the space of gender-based violence and gender equality.
During one of our group sessions, we explored our different experiences with motherhood—some women had one child, others two or more, and some had chosen not to have children. There were far too many stories to share here, but a few themes emerged that left me in awe of the resilience, strength, and skill it takes to be a mother in today’s world.
As I’ve watched fellow mothers juggle their roles as active participants in this training while being kilometres away from their children. Some, like me, have reached a point where we give ourselves permission to be fully present in the moment. Others are trying their absolute best to focus, while still carrying the weight of school pickups, homework, safety concerns, and missed birthdays. Two mothers in our group are spending their children’s birthdays away from home—still choosing to show up, grow, and keep their own fires burning.
I’ve witnessed quiet phone calls after sessions—mothers soothing little ones with lullabies and whispered reassurances over video calls. I’ve seen the inner conflict in their eyes, balancing guilt with growth, absence with love. I remember those days myself.
And then, there is the mother who speaks with calm confidence, supported by a loving partner who reminds her that everything at home is under control. That kind of peace is not a luxury, it’s a gift. A solid, trusting partnership is one of the most powerful forms of support a mother can have.
Being a mother is not easy. I am a mom to young men now, and the worry never stops. It simply evolves. I worry about their choices, their safety, their growth. And sometimes, they make mistakes like smashing my car because they thought they had life figured out. But as a mother, you learn to choose gratitude that life and limbs are intact, even when egos and bank accounts take a hit.
Relationships matter. They shape the emotional world of every mother. A woman supported in her journey by a spouse, a friend, a community has the strength to carry others. But so many families are fractured. So many children are left hurt by broken relationships. If you’re reading this and Mother’s Day brings pain, or bitterness, or silence—I see you.
Biology doesn’t make a mother.
Love does.
A mother is someone who shows up, who gives and receives love, who sees and nurtures. You’ll find that love in the teacher who stays late to help you. In the aunt who never forgets your birthday. In the neighbour who checks if you’ve eaten. In the grandmother who stepped in when her own child stepped out. Love lives in many forms.
Yet I still grapple with the pain caused by those who use motherhood as a weapon. The single mom who punishes her child’s father out of hurt, or the stepmom who makes a child feel unwanted, those wounds run deep. I struggle to understand how women can fight so hard for a man’s attention, yet overlook the child quietly begging for theirs.
Still, I believe this: in the world of good and evil mothers, love always triumphs. The choice to mother with care, with commitment, with compassion is the choice that builds families and shapes futures.
And in the workplace? Let’s talk equality. Too often, mothers are sidelined, blocked, or doubted because of their caregiving roles. And while we demand equality, the truth is: we’re not the same as our male counterparts. We face different pressures. We carry different loads.
So, to the men reading this: I’m not asking for special treatment for moms in your workplace. I’m asking for understanding. Walk a minute in her shoes. She’s the one showing up on time, presenting her work, leading the meeting all the while navigating teething toddlers, sick notes, and frantic calls from school. All before you’ve even parked your car.
This Mother’s Day, we salute every woman in every kind of mothering role. We honour your drive. Your tenderness. Your fight. Your fire.
In South Africa, motherhood is not merely a role, she is the heart of her community, its very backbone. Motherhood is a form of resistance, a daily negotiation with hardship, and a profound act of love. It is both ordinary and extraordinary: carried in tired hands, hidden behind quiet eyes, and revealed in relentless acts of care. Her story is not told often enough, but it is lived in every home, every school yard, and every early morning taxi ride. It is time we named that power, honoured that resilience, and listened to the quiet strength that sustains generations.
She wakes before the sun, a pot already simmering on a paraffin stove or a smokey fire. The child on her back still half-asleep, she steps out into the dawn mist of a rural village or a township. Then she travels long distances to work, often to clean someone else’s home, cook someone else’s food, or tend to someone else’s land. She works with dignity, even when paid little. And somehow, she still finds the energy to guide her children through school, nurse them through illness, and feed them with what little she has. She is tired, yes, but she is tireless in her devotion.There is dignity in her every step. Even with hands cracked from cleaning and a body weary from bending over floors and harvests, She had had to begin her day long before her children open their eyes, making lunchboxes by candlelight, warming water for washing, checking homework by torchlight when the power is out.
And to my Safe Harbour my mother—thank you. If I become half the mother you’ve been, the world will be a better place because of the two young men you helped raise.
Look after you and I will look after anybody you say needs to be looked after, any way you say. I am here. I brought my whole self to you. I am your mother” – Maya Angelo
