Last week I came across an image that sadly is a glaring reality of the very stark conditions many people live in daily. Homes made out of sheets of metal, knocked and held together by nails, the roof weighted down by loose bricks and tires. The tires serve two purposes here, one of weighing down the roof and the other protecting the structure from lightning in the event of a storm. Homes with no window. A light shining in from a small hole in the sheet metal. Doors barely hanging on by a make shift bolt. Inside the house nothing much by way of a bed, let alone any means to prepare a meal or attend to natures call.
These homes litter the banks of highways and byways. Mostly built up around easy access to markets, towns and places of opportunity for employment. The closer opportunity to a source of running water and transportation seems to be coveted prime property, even though it does not belong to you. Sadly they are also built up in residential areas where majority of the residence are paying taxes and rates and therefore become an eye sore and very contentious issue in the political and social dynamics in most communities of our country. The idea that our government has looked pass just the health, safety and hygiene issues of these structures is most appalling and devastating. Many of these structures go beyond the safety element and offers no decent or proper sanitation, resulting people living in cesspools of the filthiest conditions, no human being should be subjected to.
No matter the area, you need not look far. You will find what in known as “Squatter Camps” I am not sure if the acceptance of these conditions are a means to address the imbalances of the past. Or some way as to not repeat history by forced removals faced in the apartheid years affecting the lives of countless people. Whatever the reason of these disastrous conditions, this blind eye has created such a ripple effect of lost, at risk lives, that this blind eye mentality cannot continue to be the stance of our government and society anymore.
My first job after returning to the work force after having my twins was at Thandanani Children’s Foundation (TCF). It was in the position of Training Manager. It was in this position that I was fortunate enough to really help the vulnerable, at risk children of our society through community home-based intervention training. It was in this experience that I first came across the phrase “Child-Headed Households”(CHH). I did not really understand this concept before working for TCF. After all, children cannot head households. A household is headed by parents. A Father and a Mother. A blessing if both lovingly or one or the other. If a parent was absent due to death or abandonment those children were automatic wards of the state and the government would look after them. This was my jaded naive understanding. What I had not realise, was that my exposure to our country’s economic, social and political issues were very ignorant. The devastating effects of the HIV/AIDS epidemic that started resulting in CHH was fast becoming a huge problem. I lived life so blinded. I realised then how ignorant and ill informed I was living in my luxury of family life, with the full support of family, community and friends around me. The thought of my sons left alone to fend for themselves is by far the most scariest of all my fears. Even at their age now, I cannot imagine them been left alone to charter life’s battles and challenges on their own. At my age, I still lean, rely and count on my relationship with my parents and siblings for many needs in my life. Yet, here we are. Not just with an ugly eyesore which has us mumbling and complaining about the state of affairs in our country. What we have here is a sad reality . Not a new reality. Not a sudden crisis but a sad tragic reality. The statistics of households of children raising children is both alarming and crushing. This crisis has come to the forefront this week for a 5 member household in one the undeveloped, overlooked impoverished communities of the Eastern Cape. This 5 member household oldest occupant and caregiver is a 19 year old. Not am employed, income security earning caregiver, but a teenager who still is attending school and is in Grade 10. She is responsible for her 4 other siblings the youngest a 5 year-old. These children have been left by their mom who fled an abusive relationship to go out looking for work. Thinking this is the best option. She has left them in a make shift structure, with little or no protection and comforts we take for granted.
I cannot help but ask how did this situation go unnoticed for so long? I am guessing you, like me must have come to the first and easiest explanation. This Mom must be getting a grant for each of these children. However; if you would read their story on the front page of this week’s publication you will see that this is not the case. These children do not even have birth certificates or any formal identification. They are literally living off the goodness of neighbours or making the R400 that their mom sends stretch through the days. I cannot do the math. R400 stretching in South Africa feeding 5 people a day is near impossible.
Sad reality though. This R400 is what so many teens get for lunch and tuck shop money a day for school. Other teens fortunate to have R400 as pocket money for the month, while every other need and want is met by their parents. I thank God with you for your blessings and to be able afford the privilege of giving your children these luxuries of life. I hope you would pause a moment today and to really think of what the reality and life these 5 children and many others like them have.
According to Statistics on Children by the University of Cape Town; There were about 26,000 children living in child-only households across South Africa in 2019. I cannot fathom how much-more this number must be now in 2023. This may seem to you as a small amount in respect to the number of people living in South Africa. However; we need to look at the conditions under which these children at risk face daily. Food security, a safe and secure shelter, sanitary living conditions, education, health care are just a few of their physical needs. When I consider the emotional and psychological stress these children face everyday, I have to ask what do we need to do to change this? How do we stop turning a blind eye. As a mom I know all too well the challenges of being a single parent and the daily stress to stay afloat. How much more harder must it be for a teenager, still in school, with parenting responsibilities. Having 4 siblings looking to you for their daily needs. A blind eye is no longer an answer.
In general, teenagers face emotional and mental challenges with teen anxiety and excessive worry about everyday matters. Then there are the social phobias of feeling self-conscious, isolated, insecure, rejected, peer pressure and a need to fit in. The average teenager finds life confusing, challenging and an emotional roller-coaster. How much more, when you add running a household to that. Most teens feel these and other pressures acutely which lead to feelings of sadness, anxiety, rejection, emptiness etc which gives way to depression. Then there is the pressure of schooling and exams. As I typed this I cannot help but feel ashamed to my blind eye mentality. My life, my survival, my problems.
So I ask myself and I ask you. How on earth are these teens expected to perform like the other pupils at school? How are these girls at risk protected and managing their feminine needs? How are these teens “feeding” their siblings; ensuring that their nutritional needs, school needs, shelter needs, security needs, emotional needs, personal needs are attended to. How then do they take care of themselves. Is this what we have become? How did the adults in these children’s lives miss this situation? How did this family and many others like it, headed by a child, living in the most alarming conditions go unnoticed? It is hard being a teen, by no stretch of the imagination. It is hard being an adult and living in today’s challenging economy, with all the social ills affecting communities. How much harder must it be for a child raising children?
I don’t have the answers. I know you don’t too. Its hard when there is so many issues to address and plug. We are grateful for Non Government Organisations ( NGO’s) like Thandanani Children’s Foundation that are faithfully and responsibly carrying out their vision and mission to stand in the gap. We applaud all NGOs and individuals that are not turning a blind eye and going the extra mile to aid these at risk and vulnerable lives in so many ways. We honour those Non Profit Organisations (NPOs) that daily utilise the funds given to them for the reasons they sort funding. We commend all the NPOS that are being accountable and transparent. It is because of these organisations and individuals that people still give to charities and aid in funding ventures.
My advise is; to be grateful for what you have. Be thankful for your luxuries even if you think your life is hard. If you are reading this article off your phone or a laptop, you have more than most. If you are reading this article in print form you have a good life and have so much more than most. I am appealing to you. Should you have an opportunity to meet someone in crisis, in their need step in. If you know of an organisation that needs your help today, please step up and help. There are many families out there that are waiting for your aid, your care, your intervention. If you are a business owner and are in a position to mobilise your team in a tangible way, get mobile. Remember you are able to get back in tax relief under Corporate Social Responsibility and Investment. While we may not have the ability to influence government to turn the disastrous conditions many people live in daily, we each have the ability to do what we can to help another person in need.
“No one has ever become poor by giving.” ― Anne Frank
Article by Tessa Green
Relationship and Behavioural Therapist for appointments email: tessawowfactor@gmail.com
