As Valentine’s Day approaches, love is in the air—but so are financial decisions. With nearly one in five individuals having ended a relationship due to money troubles, the reality is that money remains one of the biggest sources of tension in relationships. For couples, especially those dealing with debt, the choice between merging finances or keeping accounts separate can have lasting implications on both their relationship and financial future.
According to the latest data from Experian, nearly a third of young adults aged 18-35 have discovered their partner made a significant financial purchase without telling them. Financial infidelity is a reality for many, with 27% of individuals admitting to lying about their financial situation to a partner.
The Case for Joint Finances
For some couples, combining finances fosters trust and simplifies money management. Sebastien Alexanderson, Head of National Debt Advisors, emphasizes that transparency is key:
“Discussing finances candidly is crucial. Understanding each other’s financial situations, including debts and spending habits, can prevent misunderstandings and build a stronger foundation for your relationship.”
He said merging accounts can provide greater transparency, making it easier for couples to align their financial goals. Shared accounts can also simplify budgeting, ensuring that all expenses are accounted for and managed jointly. Many couples find that this approach strengthens their financial partnership, particularly when tackling debt together. However, it’s not without its risks.
“Trust remains a major barrier for many, with nearly one in five young adults stating that they wouldn’t trust their partner enough to open a joint account. Financial caution is understandable, especially given that according to the Experian report, 15% of individuals have experienced a partner putting bills in their name and failing to pay them back, harming their credit score,” said Alexanderson.
The Case for Separate Finances
For couples who prefer financial independence, Alexanderson said keeping accounts separate may be the better option—especially when debt is involved. “Maintaining separate accounts allows each partner to manage their own money while avoiding the risks associated with shared financial obligations. It also ensures that one partner’s debt does not directly impact the other’s credit score,” he said.
However, while separate accounts allow for financial autonomy, they can also make expense-sharing more complicated. Lack of transparency can sometimes breed financial mistrust, particularly when one partner is significantly more financially responsible than the other.
Financial anxiety plays a significant role in relationships, with Experian reporting that more than half of young adults are cautious about their partner’s spending habits, which can add strain to relationships. Additionally, over a third of individuals claim that their partner’s financial anxiety has negatively impacted their relationship, making open discussions about money even more critical.
Financial Stress and Relationship Impact
Debt can put significant strain on relationships. Many young adults have found themselves making financial sacrifices in the name of love. A striking 39% have spent all their savings on dating, while nearly a quarter have maxed out their credit cards due to relationship expenses. The pressure to spend on lavish gifts and experiences is also fuelled by social media, with 38% of people feeling obligated to maintain appearances online.
“In extreme cases, some individuals have even resorted to borrowing money to fund their dating life. Ten percent of young adults have turned to loan sharks to cover relationship expenses, a risky financial move that can lead to deeper debt,” said Alexanderson.
Alexanderson maintains however that there’s no one-size-fits-all approach when it comes to managing finances in a relationship. Some couples opt for a hybrid approach—maintaining individual accounts while contributing to a joint account for shared expenses. The key is open communication and aligning financial goals.
“Financial transparency builds trust. Whether you choose joint accounts, separate finances, or a mix of both, the most important thing is to be on the same page about your financial future.”
