Happy Valentine’s Day to all our readers, subscribers, followers, and those who support us by sharing our content. We are truly grateful for your continued engagement with our newspaper, whether in print or online. Your readership brings us immense joy as we work on delivering quality content every week. A special thank you goes out to our advertisers and sponsors, whose support makes our work possible. Thanks to them, our small community newspaper has reached a milestone of 1.4 million website views this past month. We express our gratitude with hearts full of love.
Love is a significant force in our daily lives, influencing our emotions, dreams, and interactions. Whether we are self-focused or selfless, love plays a crucial role in shaping our actions and decisions.
In a previous article, I delved into the profound commitment expressed in the phrase “Till death do us part.” Today, I wish to celebrate those exceptional individuals in my circle who embody this enduring commitment. I am fortunate to be surrounded by couples who consciously choose to love deeply every day, truly living out the vow of “Till death do us part.” Allow me to share a few examples of such remarkable love stories on this special day, in the hopes of inspiring you, dear reader, to nurture similar depth and dedication in your own relationships. What better way to offer guidance than through real-life instances of romantic love in action?
Drawing lessons from the devoted couples in my life:
- My parents, who have been married for almost 65 years, epitomize the essence of a strong and enduring marriage. They have imparted numerous pearls of wisdom over the years, but a common thread among all successful marriages is the foundation of faith upon which they are built. Surrounding yourselves with like-minded couples who share and support your values is essential. My parents have had this circle from as early as I can remember. Attending marriage courses and retreats can provide invaluable skills without the need for trial and error even though every relationship will have them. Marriage Encounter was like a blood force in our home from my childhood. What makes me smile today is how through the years they have adapted to living a compromise. In honour of those of you haters about all things that Valentines Day embodies, my Dad and Mom found a way to live with my father’s unromantic nature. You see she married a farmer, from the rolling hills of Ixopo. There is not a romantic bone in my Dad. Yet, their love survived and found a way. My mother accepted him wholeheartedly, focusing on his core virtues rather than what lacked. Even though through the years, till today, we need to remind him to buy the unexpected chocolate or flowers on her birthday, as these little things my Mom has said she wishes he did more of. Hats off to her though, she did not allow this unchangeable side of him to be the thorn in her side. What she focused on was that she needed more. What matter most to her; was the faithful, God-fearing, provider and family man. Finding the compromise definitely has merit.
- My brothers and their wives, who married their childhood sweethearts, have carried forward the principles instilled by our parents into their own relationships. By prioritizing shared values and mutual respect, they have cultivated strong bonds that continue to withstand the test of time. Whether through shared faith,(getting up at 4:30 in the morning to have unrushed prayer time together) sharing all activities (from ministry to time spent with outside friends and family), or a mutual respectful respect for each others role in the family, they have found what works best for them. I have a sister in law that is a homemaker and a darn good one at it. I do not know of a more dedicated woman to her husband who has chosen to trust him to take care of their everyday needs while she takes care of them everyday. They have opted to forgo the power dynamics and control that most relationships seek, instead choosing to prioritize each other above all else. This decision has proven to be successful, despite society’s inclination towards individualism within a relationship. The secret, I surmise, watching from the outside in, has to be the timeless principle of transparent communication. In all 3 of my brothers lives and their marriages, they have opted to adapt their individual needs and aspirations, affirming a foundation of faith and mutual respect in all aspect with regard in attaining equilibrium in their relationships. Submitting to each other not only expecting this from the other.
- Observing the parenting style of my sister and her wife, who adopted two girls, was a lesson in synergy and partnership. Despite their busy work schedules, they seamlessly divided childcare responsibilities and supported each other in every aspect of parenting. Their ability to embrace and celebrate their cultural and religious differences has been instrumental in creating a harmonious and loving family environment. Oh how I envied how easily they did this. It was like a dance. And it has held fast, 23 years later and they still have me using them as a case study on successful relationship styles and celebrating differences. Its got to be the lesson that sharing is caring and caring for someone else is love in action.
- Reflecting on the enduring love between my former boss and his wife, I was struck by the power of consistent affection and appreciation. Their public displays of affection, such as tender gestures and loving words, serve as a reminder of the importance of expressing love openly and unapologetically. Small acts of affection, whether in private or public, can strengthen the bond between partners and keep the flame of love alive.I was captivated by the tenderness with which he greeted her and said goodbye to her every time he left the house during the time they spent with me. The endearing terms and pet names they continue to use when addressing one another for me, was, just a glimpse into the intimate secrets that have sustained their bond for four decades.
- In my own relationships, I have learned the value of honesty and transparency in expressing one’s needs and preferences. Communicating openly about personal boundaries, expectations, and priorities from the outset can prevent misunderstandings and conflicts down the line. It is essential to align on important aspects such as faith, family dynamics, and personal goals to build a strong foundation for a lasting and fulfilling relationship. Remember, true love thrives on mutual understanding, respect, and shared values. Love is a powerful force that shapes our lives in profound ways. By learning from the experiences of devoted couples and embracing open communication and mutual respect, we can cultivate relationships that are enduring, fulfilling, and truly transformative.
When we make a promise especially in marriage, we are usually confident in our sincerity and commitment to honouring those promises at all costs. I know and speak from experience when I acknowledge that there are marriages that veer into toxic territory. Relationships troubled by recurring infidelity or abuse – whether emotional or physical – warrant an out for survival and safety. No individual should endure such life threatening circumstances, and seeking assistance to remove oneself from such toxic relationships is imperative. However, the majority of divorces are not rooted in justifiable reasons nowadays. Many opt to leave when perseverance and working together can salvage the relationship. Exhaust all avenues before contemplating leaving. Rather than questioning why your partner fails to make you happy, ask yourself what can I do to warrant the love and affection of my partner. Try to avoid falling into the temptation of an affair under the guise of unmet needs. Uphold the sanctity of the marital vow ’till death do us part’ as more than mere words. If love was once cherished, it is unequivocally worth preserving and fighting for.
I hope that this article causes you to recommit to your partner, choosing to embrace the trials, endure the storms, and focus on emerging stronger together in your committed partnership, which I know can be demanding but as pointed out above have profound rewards. Reflecting on a life well-lived, a love that transcended time, and a bond secure through unwavering dedication is a testament to the enduring value of fighting for one’s relationship. I think that’s why I love days like Valentines Day, not for the empty gestures but for the reminder to love on purpose and with purpose. To love like it’s the first time, to commit and fight for till death us do part, because love always deserves a second chance.
So before I pen off, are you looking for last minute Valentine’s Day ideas or inexpensive ways to re-date your mate? We’ve got you covered with some inexpensive ways to say I LOVE YOU! Plan that movie night in with the junk food and popcorn. If your partner is the one that does all the cooking swop that around today or cook the meal together (maybe even in naked chef style) if the kids are away. Play a board-game or 2. Maybe some strip poker or spin the bottle. It worked in your teens, why not now. Put on some music and slow dance holding each other close and intimately. Cue YouTube karaoke and sing together love songs that are special to the two of you. Deliberately plan to put away the phones and social media and carve out this time to write love letters to each other and read them out aloud to each other. Have a spa night with massages, body oil, and candles. Take a blanket outside and stargaze in the backyard with soft music playing in the background. Recreate your first date. Say “I love you”. Tell specific things you love about your partner. Make them feel special with action and deliberate attention. Listen closely to what your partner is saying and make an effort to take action should that be required of you going forward. Write an IOU to your partner. (IOU a hug every morning and night. IOU 12 sleep in Saturdays. IOU…) For those of you tired of my soppy ideas, I know there has to be some haters: choose today to focus on each other! Recommit to that promise, work it and mean it every chance you get.
I am blessed to have real life case studies and examples of couples who love hard and love on purpose. Thank you for allowing me to crush on these couples today. The art of love is truly in all those time honoured traditions. Let us celebrate the essence of love not just on Valentine’s Day, but every day, by cherishing and nurturing the bonds that connect us to our loved ones and our happily ever afters.
“At the sound of my name, those two worlds on either side of me collide, and my lips meet his. Time ceases to exist, and so, apparently does any logic that my mind is hanging on to. Logic would say that this is insane; every other fibre of my being says it’s right.”― Dianna Hardy, ‘Til Death Do Us Part
